silent night and the morning after
by Wintry Leen
Summary: Sasuke's experience of Christmas in three parts – for he had always thought he would live alone forever. SasuSaku. Post-manga. SS family. Oneshot. #22


**A/n:** While everyone else was preparing for the New Year's celebration, I isolated myself in my room and tried to submit one last fic before 2014 ended.

The last part was heavily inspired by this ss fanart by sakulove_sssk (you can ask me for the link, also on my tumblr) and also by that fanart which features Madara's Christmas tree hair (I can't find it anymore because I just chanced upon it on a facebook page. XC )

Lame title I know but I'm rushing. OMG. HAPPY NEW YEAR. I'M GETTING OUT.

**Edit (1/1/15): **I finally had time to go over it and fix some MINOR errors I've spotted. I couldn't do major revision because some people had already taken the time to read it – thank you so much! I also changed the title and the summary. Enjoy!

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><p><em>silent night and the morning after<em>

i. Sasuke

Sasuke wandered off to the deeper part of the woods, to the entreating dark that he was accustomed to embracing. It was even a wonder for him that he had marked out this day to be something specifically special; it was such a bother that he had to be affected by it. He was a rogue ninja and had no family, had no one except for the people he was currently with who happened to share the same desire for revenge. But he thought, he would rather be alone, so amidst the celebration that his company was trying to stir up, he found the excuse of scanning the area as a security measure sufficient enough to parade. For celebrating would be a tangible falsity and he already had too many lies to live with.

He didn't have the right to celebrate what Naruto and others would call Christmas. He had no family. He had no one to share it with. Red for him couldn't mean love and warmth and presence. The color had always been tainted to him, he thought: It was nothing but an indication of war and blood and absence.

He vacantly looked towards the direction of the village he once called home and for a second, allowed himself to recall memories from his childhood – trainings, Christmas meals, tearing gifts open. But everything was just an indistinct blur now, and he wanted to laugh at himself for such a lame attempt to diffuse the sadness that was becoming too palpable it couldn't be denied any longer.

So he went off deeper into the dark because feeling it was so much better than feeling nothing.

ii. and Sakura

It was an unanticipated decision, but when he had felt the incipient need to return, he began running.

It was snowing when he reached the gates of Konoha, and despite the stark contrast of the whiteness to the world from which he had emerged, the feeling of heaviness, of excessive longing, didn't evaporate. He could feel it in his breath against the bare air.

Seeing the unfamiliar – new buildings, overgrown trees, missing markers – on such a familiar terrain loaded him with fond memories. He remembered that this was the exact spot where he said goodbye to his team and where he made a promise three years ago. But he quickly masked his presence; no one needed to know and be cruelly interrupted from their little celebration.

He found himself taking steps towards what used to be home for him because he couldn't even begin thinking about going elsewhere. Besides, he could make do with the company of forgotten dusts and wistful webs. He could comfort himself by looking at every corner of their mansion which objects could fill but would forever be empty. He could take pride in the fact that he had been alone for so long, it no longer mattered that much. He could be more hopeful for changes this time, but he knew that it wouldn't be that easy to transition from darkness to sunlight. It would all take time just like how each snowflake would slowly fall from the clouds.

He then felt a presence so sudden he thought a snowflake had landed on his bare skin. It pricked him, but he quickly realized it wasn't a swift, passing chill at all. Warmth welled up through him, and he turned so sharply to see _her._

"Sasuke-kun."

He took in the sight of her. She was panting, puffing clouds of breath, and a faith blush was adorning her cheeks. But there were idle tears in her eyes, and before long she lurched into him, sobbing into his chest.

He wanted to shrink away from her touch because he hadn't been in her presence for a needlessly long period of time that it scared him to not be able to let go this time. He didn't want to participate in this strange feeling because he had yet to learn how. But as Sakura's shoulders began to tremble down, he realized he was tired of being alone.

Sakura pulled away and retrieved something from inside her bag. She then wrapped a scarf around his neck, and hastily wiping away the remaining tears, she said, "Merry Christmas, Sasuke-kun!"

She put a little distance between them – he wanted to pull her back – and smiled. "I'm sorry, I'm just too happy to see you," she stopped before carefully beginning again, "Are you…are you staying?"

Her question gratified his feeling, and he knew the answer right away. However, he couldn't find the words to tell her properly. A simple yes wouldn't suffice, he thought, for he knew she had waited for so long and he wanted more.

The frosty air blew, and when he saw her pink hair flutter away in the wind while she helplessly tried to push it back, he realized the violence of his longing and marched towards her. He brought his arm forward to tug her into him gently. He felt her breath hitch, and he smirked soundly.

"Take responsibility, Sakura," he said in a thick voice. Sakura could only nod feebly and make a sound of approval as she clutched at his poncho.

They would later end up in Sakura's porch, huddled together in a blanket. Sakura would try to catch the snowflakes, and Sasuke would just lean over and brush a kiss against her hair, nursing an airy vision of a future with her.

iii. and Sarada

Sasuke was awakened by the sound of small, impatient thumping on the door. Big shafts of light were already streaming through the space between the drawn curtains, but even so, he would just like to remain in bed, watching the sleeping figure beside him. He was about to draw her closer, but Sakura had already started coming to and stretching her arms. She cracked one eye open and smiled sleepily at the sight of him leaning over her.

"Good morning, Sasuke-kun," she patted his cheek.

He took hold of her hand and placed a kiss into her palm. Sasuke would never get tired of looking at her sleep-strewn form because it was in mornings like this that he felt the most alive.

He was just about to place a morning kiss on her lips when the little person outside finally broke her silence.

"Papa, Mama, you said we're decorating the house today. Get up. Now," Sarada called out.

Sakura just looked at Sasuke before laughing. "Sorry, Sarada-chan. We'll be there in a few."

Sakura attempted to get up, but Sasuke stopped her. "Wait," he said huskily.

Sarada called out again. "Papa, you said you'll train with me, too."

They could hear her already tapping her foot impatiently, and Sasuke just sighed and smiled lightly before letting Sakura go. He was just about to head towards the door when Sakura whispered to him and tossed him something. He gave her a quizzical look.

"It's for Sarada-chan. Wear the Santa hat, Sasuke-kun, and I," she pulled something out of a drawer, "will wear this headband."

Sakura quickly got up, and since he still couldn't find in himself to wear the hat, she took it upon herself to place it over his head before she adjusted her own antler headband and finally opened the door.

He saw their daughter staring up at them, arms crossed. Sakura crouched down and beamed.

"Good morning, Sarada-chan."

Sarada just nodded before greeting back. "Good morning, Mama."

Her eyes now went up to Sasuke's face, and Sasuke, despite feeling slightly uncomfortable – he was reluctant to admit this to himself – under his daughter's gaze, smiled warmly at her.

"Good morning, Sarada."

After a moment of silence, Sarada began. "Good morning, Papa. Why do you have a Santa hat on?"

Sasuke threw a glance at Sakura who seemed to be holding back a laugh. He couldn't figure out why Sarada had to notice his hat when she didn't even remark upon Sakura's headband.

"Your mom has that fancy headband, too," he answered coolly.

Sarada just grinned at him.

"Yes, but you look so much funnier, Papa. What's with that Christmas tree hair and a Santa hat? You look like a Christmas decoration, Papa."

Sakura then burst into laughter, and he just stood there with his folded arms, watching the two women in his life having a good laugh together over him. He put up a stern-looking face, but as Sakura and Sarada began walking away while still snickering, he let a genuine smile break through his face.

They were his home now, and they would create more memories – trainings, Christmas meals, tearing gifts open. He would always remember them, and he would soon forget what it must have been like feeling alone years and years ago.

**...**

_**Fin.**_


End file.
